A shot of life

Often times followed by: “You must be mixed.”

Though it is intended as a compliment, it is really something that rubs me the wrong way.

You may be asking yourself, why is she so offended?

Well for starters, I am Latina. Puerto Rican to be exact. So yes, technically i’m mixed; because Puerto Ricans are made up of a mix of the Taino Indians, African Americans & the Spaniards. Granted my skin is darker, my hair a bit courser, my lips full and my nose wide, but thats the beauty of my culture: We come in all different shapes, colors and sizes.

It took me a long time to be comfortable with who I am, in my own skin. Growing up I was always jealous of my cousins with their long curly hair and “traditional” spanish features. It didn’t help that my grandmother was always doing something to my hair to get it straight. Weekends always consisted of hot oil treatments or perming my hair and if it wasn’t done then it was hiding under a bandana or wrap of some kind. To add to the fact that I didn’t look like anyone in my family, I was also overweight, had acne, needed glasses and had a big gap between my front teeth. I never understood what I did to end up the ugly duckling. As I grew up I made it work for me. My weight still fluctuates, my acne is not as intense, my gap not as prominent and glasses seem to be the “in” thing right now. I’ve learned to deal with my hair and yes from time to time I do add extensions for length or chop it real short. At any given time it may be black, red, purple or blue. It’s just hair.

So back to the comment “You’re really pretty for a black girl.”

It’s offensive. Why couldn’t it just stop with you’re really pretty. Are you insinuating that “black” girls are genuinely ugly?

Be careful with your choice of words, even whem complimenting. The smallest things can have the biggest or longest affect on someone.

For those who don’t know…

This is me.